So I happen to be in the cycle and "stuck" I went two days without eating, but then last night started binge eating. I ate two chicken salad sandwhiches on wheat bread and two bowls of chicken broth with saltines. Afterwards I had that guilt in which I sat infront of the toilet with a toothbrush (thus avoiding Russell Syndrome scaring of the knuckles) to no avail, I grabbed a handful of diet pills, laxatives and jumped on the treadmill.
Often times I wonder, sitting here, after the purging, what makes a person do such? It's like an out of body experience where reality really doesn't matter. You become so obsessed with "the task" I've been anorexic before, but never suffered from bulimia. Six years ago, I just merely chose to stop eating, now I go through terrible binging-purging cycles.
Probably many of you are wondering what "the treatment plan is": Well.... so am I. We have yet to figure that out. The psychologist chose citalopram (Celexa) 20 mg given in the a.m. for a starters. Thinking it would help with the obsessional cleaning, checking, counting and also bulimia. Seemed like a perfect start.
I noticed the first morning I took the medication that the side effects were AWFUL. I felt nauseated, bloated, stomach upset, and my blood sugar dropped at a significant decrease. The second, third, fourth and fifth mornings were the same. I contacted the office and informed them that I would no longer be taking the medication and am still waiting on an appointment to see the psychologist again.
I have lost over 100 lbs in a years time period but I must mention I am still as of this point 23.7% BMI
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1 comment:
so the pills that they're giving you for your bulimia are making you feel nausious i don't blame you for not taking them, seems like your more likely to eat if you're not taking them.
love the blog by the way.
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