We'll kinda help you

I haven't had another meeting with the psychologist yet, but have been officially diagnosed for nearly four weeks now although I've been suffering with this battle privately for nearly a year.

Right now I'm feeling like the psychologist is handing me a pile of little sticks and expecting me to build a house out of them overnight. We all know that every soundly built house is built on what???? A foundation (and it sure isn't done overnight) I feel like she really doesn't know how to help me (not being an eating disorder specialist in all) so what's the point in jumping through all of her hoops. It's like a rebelling force in me saying "ok I don't think I have a problem, if you don't think it's important enough to address" and unfortunately maybe that's why the death rates in eating disorder patients are much higher than in any other psychiatric condition. We have far too few trained specialists who are insistent on getting these types of patients "help" and I don't call "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" every 30 days for 30 minutes, help.

So the message I've been sent is, go meet with her once a month for 30 mins, and that should cure your addiction? The medical doctor and psychologist (thanks to my husband through vigorous e-mails) are aware of the laxatives, diuretics, diet pills and ipecac syrup rituals. So once a month for 30 mins I get the lecture of how bad these things are,and how I'm going to drop dead (ohh yes last time she gave me that good news), and over the next 29 days I'm supposed to "cure" myself when in all honesty the only thing I can think about is the demoralizing lecture I JUST PAID TO SIT THROUGH.

Next time my car needs fixed (not being a mechanic nor a psychologist) I think I'll take it to the dealership, have them "diagnose" the problem, bring it home and see if I can figure out the rat maze of fixing the thing, seem logical?. Generally, we take our cars, and our bodies for that matter, to the doctors and mechanics because we, ourselves, don't know how to fix them.